TWO separate comments… “Hey Paul. Last week’s blog was a bit near the knuckle!” “Hey Paul, this week’s blog was a bit mild!” There is just no pleasing some folk!
RANDOM illegal parking in the Disabled Spot…. a Hyundai Jazz XFZ 7144 and a blue Peugot VFZ 3545 BY the time you read this, the Jolly Boys will be on their way back from the President’s trip. That is supposing my distribution manager manages to sober up and get it out on time! He has been pickled since the time he got on the bus! And remember what happens in Vegas does not necessarily apply to Dublin. YOU were told Rab …you were told but would you listen???? No! Enjoy your enforced lay off! BTW any sign of Gerry Lee’s manbag? APOLOGIES to Belsonic Marty and Jim F. We have another “get down” concert goer in Sean “Slim” McMahon who is a Coldplay fanatic. Almost twice your age Marty. He should be ashamed! WHICH Maxi and Marty turned up to play a singles match…they were not sure which one but they turned up anyway and Gerry Lowe marked it. As I have said before, …”they walk among us!” I am indebted to a follower from another club who was kind enough to share the fact that that Butsie’s elevation to the A team against Willowfield was somewhat of a damp squib. I am too professional to release his name but he is a Leeds United supporter ( for Christ sake Michael do not make any comment otherwise he will know who you are…and BTW….any chance of taking your two boys back? ) GUESS what Dodgy Dan Cregan did………..sniped up to pilfer a second dessert when the captain of Willowfield was giving his oration at the end of the recent B team match! He then complained that there was too much custard on it! Yeah Danny Boy………that’s what the kids in Aleppo keep saying to their mothers when they get their dessert after their Sunday Roast!! WHAT does a Saturday breakfast normally cost? Five – six quid? Not unless you are a certain ex President who gets extra sausages and eggs in Kelstar…but I digress! The answer is £48. That is what Sean Mullan had to pay when he was hijacked by his family in a certain shopping centre last week! BTW…love the Superman t-shirt laddie! AND to the person who keeps hanging his gear over the Vets’ noticeboard….keep doing it matey and you will have no gear to hang! HEARD someone refer to Vets Bowls as “Old Time Bowling!” Brilliant! AND for the neurotic among you…..when you are told the plate is hot in a restaurant, you still touch it don’t you! Just as well…….. you are never sitting with anybody else - probably! I have heard some excuses for not buying drink but hiding your wallet in someone else’s jacket and telling everyone you forgot it….bravo James McCormack – one for the books! SLOAN, Thompson and Frazier…random people who arrived at away venues without some or all of their gear. And talking Frazier, he arrived on the pitch for a home match with blue stickers thinking he was playing “against Falls”. Another example of lack of commitment. Come on laddie, break the strings. Besides from what I hear they were glad to get rid offa you! What you need is a spell in Midweek B to get rid of that sort of attitude! REALLY……people calling each other “mate” on the green! What do you think we are… that team of rough sorts we play against every year??? BECAUSE Peter McGarrity has been getting a “doing” recently I have had to hold this back. Guess how many showrooms the canny shopper visited and how many glossy brochures he acquired before finally deciding on a Seat SUV as his new car? NINE! Actually it was a lot more brochures!! And did you see the jacket he brought home from the Big Apple. Makes him look like a fighter pilot….he thinks! WHICH male bowler used to fancy Miss Piggy….really? HAVE you seen the lining of Father Eugene’s blazer? Gold Lamay!!! Way to go Eugie babeeee! You are supposed to be a man of the cloth – simplicity and humility are the order of the day….just like our other resident Reverend, Monseigneur Barney Rubble! BACK to the De Brun’s nautical toilet…it is a touch and go one apparently with finger tip controls on the seat. And talking toilets, why is it that girlies always leave toilet seats down!! STILL cannot see why those on the pitch who are getting a hammering by visitors can afford to laugh and joke as they change ends!! WHICH OCD corner member Gerry Maguire was followed around on his short break to Donegal by a permanent rain cloud while the rest of the two countries basked in glorious sunshine! WHILE his bride was away in Knock, who gave The Hon Sec’s wife a tour of his sheltered dwelling including the master bedroom and proudly showed off his Dragon’s Den drawers which apparently he keeps hidden under the stairs!!! AS I did not wear the hat my beloved bought me on holiday for the aforementioned Mixed Triples, the annual “Silly Hat” award is now reinstated. Some of the new boys are well in the running! I am naming no names but try wearing that white tropical number laddie when you are queuing for your pastie supper at 11.30pm outside King Cod! Do not think you would last too long before you would get the smack you deserve! WHAT have the McIlroys, Freddie McCorry, myself and an occasional Pat Butler got in common? We were the only ones watching and end of season Midweek B match!! As they say in certain places…. “Thanks for your support now!” I may have ranted on this on Facebook before but do you know what pees me off. Self important women who come in to company and open with “Hello, everybody!” If you are walking on stage and there is an audience of several thousand, it is quite acceptable, but NOT when you are walking into the Club and there are six at the table!! Pompous ass!!! SIMILARLY those who greet you with “Good to see you!” There are about four people in the world outside of my family (and even some of them don’t count!) that I find it good to see and they are usually semi naked chicks on television. AAANNND …….those who say “Take Care!” when you are leaving. Look………I am not going to scale the north face of Everest or swim a crocodile infested river or engage with a fifty quid escort in The Premier Inn in Glasgow! I am going home for Chrissake! I humbly apologise to Mr Maire Smyth. I have been rabbiting on about the academic background of some of our luminary bowlists and forgot that she was in fact a typist at Queen’s. Sorry Honey! THIS week’s special offers. A small Jamesons whiskey pushed in my direction will ensure that you are never mentioned in the blog again. A large Jamesons whiskey pushed in the same direction will ensure that those are too bland to get a mention will be immortalized for at least a week! Come on Paul McEwan…you know you want to!! Until next time………. Keep strokin the kitty
2 Comments
Einstein's Cat
8/8/2016 06:07:53 pm
Dear Blogmeister. Once again it is great to see the very sinews of bowlers laid bare for all to see and for that nerves are frayed. It's like having a conversation with Jimmy (please insert nickname here).
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Blogmeister
8/8/2016 06:25:37 pm
Dear EC....In response but in no particular order....Unless a Jamesons whiskey is passed my way very soon, one of the Magorrian twins will be getting a mention in an upcoming blog. The comings and goings of the Jolly Boys Outing to the Unoccupied twenty six Counties will actually feature in next week's column!
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I keep my ear to the ground to keep everyone informed of the day to day happenings in Falls Bowling Club, Belfast. Archives
December 2017
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