Now this may appear on Sunday circa 8.00 pm as normal or Monday morning depending on how much pink cider Sean Boy Walton has consumed in the Club. As I write he was giving it a good seeing to so there may be some delay…………
(editor's note: I was well behaved and the copy was posted before the 8pm deadline!) Anyway this week’s column offers a selection from the Mild Bunch’s trip to Glasow. As there was a certain exclusivity to the trip, not everything that was recorded has been included – it will appear elsewhere ……………. Anyway, as we tried to leave the Club to affect ingress to one of the private coaches to take us to the airport, for which we paid an extra £32, we were subjected to a cascade of water from the ongoing leak from the Club roof top. Any chance guys?? I was glad to see the younger McCloskey had changed his salmon pink socks from the previous night’s semi final where apparently Dan Cregan played out of his epidermis!! Really sorry you lost boys and by one shot…………..ouch! At least you had the travelling support of some of the girlies in the open invitation bus. It is rather unfortunate that the sweet singing of the nursery rhymes perfected at the Ballymun hiatus was drowned out by ribald choruses of “The Good Ship Venus!” As usual Commandant Brian Smith’s oration was succinct and to the point. Nice to see Rabbi Collinski is adding to his congregation in the shape of Patrovitch Lilliski! And so to the trip. As usual, a mixture of bonhomie, too much drink and out of tune singing pervaded. It is hoped that when the Girlies do their own trip which is proposed next year to Lough Dearg or Knock or somewhere similar there will be much more civility. I have been reliably informed by Stevie Murphy that when he is President, it will be a cruise, no bowls, no women – just beer. Like your style Stevie. Which ex Secretary had an extra five minutes in bed before the bus left, keeping everybody late???? Allez mon brave!!!! At the airport, Michael McCarney again showed elements of his other side as he sidled up to a pretty boy and commented on his tan! Michael…..cross over son – you have our full support! The check in staff were perplexed when myself MA, MEd etc etc etc etc, Pat Butler MSc, Brendan McCloskey, Tommy Spence all checked in together. There were rumblings of putting on another plane!! After security, which bowlist told me he was going to the Perfumery to get some aftershave, then went to the free samples, had a few squirts then returned smelling like a Turkish brothel? Stevie Murphy………….congratulations for winning the parade of the man bags! Thanks to Jimmy the Crutch for doing the £50 draw while we were necking beer at £2.20 a pint and whiskeys at £2.00 a double………….a Crackerjack pen and pencil is yours! How many people left gear behind at Rankin Park and how many others had costume malfunctions???……….and to Jim McCormack and Martin Parker who swapped playing shirt and fleece with opponents for almost feck all………. Well next time think about it when you are sober! Who got done at the airport on the return for trying to slip through security with a cylinder of oxygen, and a smartwatch? Rice and Given…that’s who! Quote of the weekend. “I am the original dander!”………….who said it? Who went to the chocolate factory to get some more supplies to cover himself so that he could recommence eating himself? Who shared a romantic meal for two in a sophisticated Italian restaurant? Who stumbled up Sauchiehall Street after midnight spilling most of a fish supper down himself……Billy Connolly would have been sooooooo proud. Which assistant cleric blessed Messrs Garvin and Sean cos they needed to feel the power of Jesus? Room boy Required ( Readvertisement) The position for Room Boy for the next Presidential trip has become vacant due to the last one being not up to standard. My demands are not high…..a large whiskey presented in my hand my already drawn bath with herbal infusions at 7.20 am with two cubes of ice. If it is one or three cubes it will be returned! A reading of two chapters from George Orwell’s 1984 as I retire for the night followed by a selection from desert island discs. Other services to be discussed!! I have been told that Larry Grayson is alive and well and living the body of a certain Committee member!! And BTW the shower rail came tumbling down on Larry G’s head as he scrubbed himself on the last morning of the trip! You must have been exfoliating yourself with extra rubs Larry! As I bent down to deliver a bowl in Rankin Park, a smell of mothballs wafted across my nose….it was the good Jim Copeland stripping off for the first time in a coon’s age to use a non pc term to take Club colours and the pitch at the same time. Welcome back Jim. He celebrated his return with a few glasses of vino afterwards! And talking Copelands….who lost a fiver by incorrectly betting that James could not finish the monster brekkie in Lauder’s Pub! Guess who Garvan’s fav beat group of all time is????????? Squeeze!!! You need to get out more ladie!! The Dan Cregan Sunday Supplement Yet again I have to correct some errors in my reporting. I forgot to add in last week’s column that the eponymous Dan Cregan was given two apple tarts before the Mixed Triples food fest. I also have it on good authority that the delightful Alice Hanna furnished him with a home baked rhubarb tart later in the week which made him – how can I put this delicately – rather mobile. Well, it will do that Danny boy if you horse it in to you all in one go! And further……he broke a filling on a caramel so where does he go? To his own personal orthodontist/hygienist? Never a bit. The parsimonious pragmatist went to the dental school to the apprentice dentists who by all accounts “give better service”. Yip! And they are also free! Annnnddddd………..At the Mixed Triples the only thing he did not eat was the cheese as it makes him a little peculiar! So he took extra biscuits instead…….and was still nibbling on them almost a week later on the road trip to Ballymena! Bet he brought some more with him to Dublin where he went to see Riverdance with his wrinkly ramblers. Even though his nephew is something in the theatre, he was unable to procure house seats for Daniel who is not best pleased! At least you got free on the train Daniel! And who cannot tell the difference between male and female toilets….eh? Yet again I refer ALL readers to the sidebar on this site which gives the rationale behind the column and disclaims the Club from any content. It is a bit of light hearted fun. If you are offended please talk to me!! Keep the chalk wet!!
5 Comments
Making A Point
3/8/2015 03:12:02 am
Dear Bloggy.........who was getting at you about the content of the column? Was it the "Girlies" as you call them????
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Blogmeister
3/8/2015 10:57:54 am
Dear Making A Point.......It came to my attention that the "problem" was raised at Committee! :(
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The General
4/8/2015 04:49:08 am
Thank for the re-cap on the missing weekend Meister...in fact most/all of it is news to me! Remember getting to the hotel when we arrived but rest of trip is a blur.....I like trips like that ;-)
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Dizzi Rascal
6/8/2015 03:31:42 am
Blogmeister,
Reply
Blogmeister
6/8/2015 04:24:49 am
Yip Dizzi......more to come next edition. And yes roomie was not up to scratch.......think he was in awe of my prowess as a bowler, author and singer😌
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I keep my ear to the ground to keep everyone informed of the day to day happenings in Falls Bowling Club, Belfast. Archives
December 2017
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