I was taken to task recently by the husband of Mrs Maire Smyth about my apparent incorrect use of the term “ballon francais” to describe a drinking vessel and he quoted Ms Jancis Robinson Master of Wine to back him up. While he is correct in the sense that one use of the term is a football, it has indeed several meanings. A quick check of my favoured French Thesaurus, La Petite Larousse shows that it is a … “Verre à boire de forme sphérique. (On dit aussi verre ballon.)”. I trust this settles the matter and that further academic discourse will not be required.
EXCEPT for a PS… I think he has the “hots” for Ms Robinson who to my uncultured palate is an “ugh!” AND another one……I wonder does the good Ms Robinson MW knows the equally good Pat Butler MSc…….. both being second level graduates and all that! What a pair of Masters!! Quote of the week….from Marty Quinn. “Give me a skinny one downwind!” WELL not quite…. From Girlie Mary Evans… “I just pulled it and it came away in my hand!” CAN I remind my informants that I use information on a triage system. Material is prioritised so do not be offended if your “stuff” does not appear for a few weeks. FURTHER to the girlies’ training in laying tablecloths last week, I have been asked could the Midweek selectors not hold a seminar on the correct way to hold a HP Sauce bottle! Now I know a joke about a HP sauce bottle but probably best not to share here! WHICH Willowfield reject when measuring two bowls propped the flat one up with a piece of chalk and left the other one which was perched at an angle and wobbling like a Chivers Jelly alone! And he wonders why he was offloaded!! WHICH Midweek B player took time out at Larne this week to admire the legs of the tennis players. I would not mind but they were men…..does not make you a bad person – apparently! WHICH bowlist has the more perfect tan? “Love Boat” Butsie or “Sunbeds” McKinney. While the latter may have an all over one, Butsie’s is more confined to visible areas. Still I am assured by his current squeeze that he is like a roast chicken –the white bits are the best!!! Rumour has it that the sundeck speedos were more like a strip of dental floss! AND still on the subject of the Loudmeister, it has been said that it takes a real man to wear pink! I make no further comment, but his homecoming shirt would not have gone amiss on Larry Grayson! I popped in to the Club on Friday at 7.00pm to watch the big boys training for their home match on Saturday.. Must have gotten the wrong time!!!! The introduction of Ken the Kestrel has been deemed to be a success by the Head Groundsman. Yeah, if you count a bird free square radius of 20 cm under the flagpole a success, then jolly well done to the resident Bird Whisperer! Magpie 1: Cyril, what’s that hanging from the flagpole? Magpie 2: It’s a bird scarer Desmond! Magpie 1: Does it scare you mate? Magpie 2: Not me mate! Magpie 1: Where did it come from? Magpie 2: The idiot with the monkey hat put it up! Magpie 1: The one who throws free grass seed on the ground for us? Magpie 2: Him! Plonker! Magpie 1: I know who frightens me! Magpie 2: The loud one with the Masters degree? Magpie 1: Yip! Me too! Magpie 2: Plonker! Magpie 1: Fancy some Alfalfa seed? Freshly left out this morning! Magpie 2: Don’t mind if I do! Burp! LITTLE Stephie Murphy has “nothing special” planned for holidays this year. Oh so the jaunt to Rome does not count eh? LOVELY pastiche on the noticeboard sign in sheets. The Dutch Boy JP signed himself as “N/A” for last Wednesday’s game and clarified underneath that he was “ not able!” I do know JP that your English is way better than my Dutch which extends to Hoe veel which is “How much” and “Een Bier” - one beer, both of which are de rigeur in the Red Light District....apparently! APPARENTLY one of the Scissors is a granny for the first time. I thought at her age she would have been one already! Anyway…..Congrats! FOR the neurotic among you….. some are born with greatness, some achieve it. What happened to you? Don’t worry, your time will come…...probably! WHAT if we changed the name of the VETS team to the “SENIORS”, seeing we do not have a senior team by name anymore. Then we might get more of those who can, yet steadfastly refuse to play over 60s bowls. signing on……….just a thought! Playing for the SENIORS….sounds good eh? You could tell your non bowling mates. “Oh Yes! I am on the Senior Team! Competition for places is stiff!”What better way to put in a few hours of a Monday afternoon…..only eighteen holes, or is it ends – the Vets don’t care much. Step on the oche – or is it the mat – throw a few balls, wander round to the gents every so often, have a pill break. None of this “food after” and false bonhomie crap. At the end, in to the Jocks lounge just as the bar opens for a beverage of choice. Sounds like a plan….whaddya say eh? I am a selector, you scratch my back, I’ll get you on! Just leave your name and a pint behind the bar! J RUMOUR has it that the President’s outing in 2018 will be to India, cos that is where Mrs and Mr Maire Smyth want to move for the second phase of their retirement. Any bets that he will not have achieved his long term goal by then? Mumbai Maire and Samarjit Steve……… sounds good to me. Go easy on the Poppadoms folks!You know the Stiff One has delicate insides. It will make a pleasant change, however, from the same ole trips to that country which abuts our borders to the South and also those to the mainland! J CORRECTION……….I am reminded by Dan Cregan’s grandaughter that she in not six years old as I thought she was, but in fact twenty one. Furthermore she does not play with dolls and she suggests that I should go and play with my own. Now I had a witty reply to this but Dodgy Dan said it would be inappropriate so I will refrain from printing it here! Til next time Keep stroking the kitty
7 Comments
Jimmy The Chalk
9/5/2016 10:06:58 am
Blogmeister an excellent piece. Excellent to see some of the young lads getting a continued run in the senior team and indeed also good to see the selectors doing a good job of mixing things up a bit this year.
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Blogmeister
9/5/2016 10:26:44 am
indeed the very same Dan, if it is indeed Dan for you were very cryptic about who he was, asked a certain Vets selector whom we shall call Paul, for that indeed is his name and is in fact me, why the batting order was as it was for a certain game. Now nobody can doubt the quality of the bowler as he helped me win the 4x2 Vets Pairs last year and he is not a man to worry unduly about scores during a roll up as he asked me to stop marking the board a few years back when I was 12-3 ahead......but this was rather shoddy!
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The General
9/5/2016 12:17:53 pm
Magpie 1: Did you see that new skip on the Midweek A Team displace is team mates bowl to give away the shot and lose the point for his rink?
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50 cent ( the demise )
10/5/2016 10:18:52 am
I was shocked to read that I had been unmasked and my identity published at the start of your piece on Paris Goblets. Surely this is a severe breach of journalistic principles, an invasion of privacy and not in the public interest. I shall be conferring with Mr. Moore's lawyer
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Blogmeister
10/5/2016 10:34:34 am
Sir ..... Journalistic principles - an oxymoron surely!! And re invasion of privacy, watch the upcoming column then you will see why people will snigger when they see you! ;)
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avhniabode123
15/3/2017 05:48:28 am
Nice Blog posting...very interesting to read the blog..keep posting..
avhniabode123
15/3/2017 05:47:03 am
Nice Blog posting...very interesting to read the blog..keep posting..
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I keep my ear to the ground to keep everyone informed of the day to day happenings in Falls Bowling Club, Belfast. Archives
December 2017
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