Apologies, but the saga of the Girlies and their trip abroad to that country which abuts the borders of our wee nation state deserves more column inches!!
Even though they did not want ruffians on their tripette , they plus their “invited guests”, were referred to as ruffians themselves when they tried to spend 5 cent in McDonald’s and were shunned and had to go and try to pee elsewhere. The story of their plight made its way to the wee social which was taking place in the Club at the very same time where it was greeted by more than a few other Girlies with high fist pumps and comments of “Voodoo Dolls really do work!” Our second in command cleric referred to something about the power of prayer!!!! The Holy Bus eventually pulled in to a lay by where they all sang Nursery Rhymes, fuelled by the Russian Wine which they had managed to procure. They said the Clonard Novena while they waited for the relief forces and as it was in the environs of the Ballymun Housing Development, they posted sober sentries at the doors of the bus to prevent rough sorts entering and giving them a good seeing to. Now far be it from me to spread gossip but (i) Which Vets Bowler has an attitude problem when it comes to speeding. Listen Billy, you committed the crime now do the time……or at least pay the fine and go to anger management classes…. and talking anger management…. (ii) which occasional bowler has been banned from using Gransha Taxis??????? I was not at the Girlie – Jocks Match but I believe a cloud hangs over the rink belonging to the Monsignor and the Singing Postman as they went down quicker than Monica Lewinsky did on Bill Clinton!!! The blog is at last a true interactive blog……twenty nine responses at the time of writing to last week’s column. Over the past few years it tended just to be one way. Thanks to one and all for their witty retorts. And to point out again, the nom de plumes are kept secret by the Webmeister. I only know those who have exposed themselves to me openly or whom I have guessed Soon we’ll have a full team of graduates as The Stiff One, Harry “Three Stripes” and Micheal Martin Moore have been outted by my top reporter Paddy Butler!! Which bowler when marking a singles tie calls everything either a “foot short” or a “foot through”!!!! And to JP…..was it a nice surprise for you when your bride turned up in Portugal with a bevy of female beauties for your son’s stag do!!!! Well done to Martin Parker who did not spill the beans in advance. Who, when he arrived at the club with polished, face in blazer, shirt and tie, was told by the cleaners that he looked like a little boy making his First Communion? Freddie McCorry, that’s who! Who threw a strop in M and S when the £10 meal deal with wine cost him £14.30 because he replaced the custard tarts which he does not like with chocolate éclairs which does like but which were not part of the offer. Next time laddie, eat your tart. And on bowls and kitty, which girlie exhorted the big black one to “lie nice now” against the little white one!!!!!! Not the first time I have heard it! Which Girlie is a self confessed “Rock Chick”??????? Keep on smokin’ honey!! Who is the slowest person in the Club? Is it “Gentleman” Jim McCormack whose legs seem to move in permanent slow motion or is it the small but perfectly compact Fr Eugene who arrives without his legs actually moving at all as if he is on wheels!!! An outsider for the title is Jim “The Enforcer” Copeland who creeps up with his little notebook looking for ready cash! As me and my teamies cut through the opposition in the first round of the Triples I asked my beloved who was watching, which bit she liked most. The reply was “When the rains came down and you had to go inside!” FFS! To a very self important Girlie…….I am sure it was because you were not wearing your contacts, but when someone, in this case two separate people at two different times and one of them is me, bids you “good day”, please return the salutation and not just ‘walk on by’ as Dionne Warwick used to do. And also, can you please pay attention to the white lines which define parking spaces in the Club and those which mean that one must give way while pulling out of a side street, especially the one in Grangeville Gardens on Finaghy Road North where you nearly creamed me. Just sayin’ that’s all. Two little snippets from the close season. Whose house was in darkness at 7.45 of a January evening apart from a single light in the master bedroom upstairs? Playing games other than bowling eh Mr and Mrs? And….which ex Secretary, husband of Mrs Maire Smyth and good friend of the aforesaid Mrs and Mr, was dragged out of his bed in the middle of the night a little while back to get the bin out even though his missus was wide awake but could not be arsed getting up to remove the aforesaid bin herself??? Hope you covered up laddie as I have it on very good authority that you like to sleep commando!! Mr Ex President, while your fellow bowlists appreciate you are known for your “hard man” dander, dragging a Girlie bowl bag trolley behind you to a game does not quite cut it……I have been told! And this will hurt a little bit….what is the difference between the A and B teams and a black taxi????? Keep the chalk wet!
8 Comments
BLogmeister
29/6/2015 01:33:19 am
I was only acting on information given.If I had known it was coloured, I cudda made much more outta it! 😆
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Sauce Age
29/6/2015 05:23:49 am
Playing a game of Bowls the other day and the Skip shouted "I need you here ! ".So I ran up and stood beside him...
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Dear Sauce
29/6/2015 01:24:12 pm
Those jokes are as bad as TommynMcKiernan's.........welcome to the Club!
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The General
1/7/2015 07:00:41 am
Meister.....how are the vets doing?
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Blogmeister
2/7/2015 07:41:42 am
Generalissimo both teams circa second in respective leagues.......thanks for interest as no one else seems to give a flying feck☺️
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Blogmeister
11/7/2015 02:10:07 am
Runnin' short on "stuff" guys. Need a few titbits.....e mail to [email protected] discretion assured!!!!
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Sean Og
11/7/2015 04:12:10 am
Speak to Bsc Msc Abc Stu Xyz Butler, I believe he could fill a book.
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I keep my ear to the ground to keep everyone informed of the day to day happenings in Falls Bowling Club, Belfast. Archives
December 2017
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