Yes we all know it develops their skills in bowling as they learn from those older and more experienced, it gives them a sense of independence, they get exposure to fresh air and witty banter etc etc. The main disadvantage, however, is that they have no money to buy their opposite number a post match pint as I found out to my chagrin when I made the long and unnecessarily circuitous trip to Salisbury ( see last week's blog on Satnav Steve! ). The little tyke was able to nip in three times to the bar and buy himself some bubblegum lemonade but at the end, was there an offer of a refreshing big boys' social lubricant?? Was there frig! I had to fork out £2 for a tepid Carling without a glass. I think there is some education needed here and the parents should be told either to give their bowling progeny the necessary readies to buy people like me the refreshing post match nectar or up their pocket money on match weeks. It's only during the summer for Chrissake. Or maybe the kids could even get a paper round. It is something the Private Greens need to address at their next AGM!
Dan Cregan: Can I give you some advice? Vets Selector (Me): No! Well that was a short conversation!!! IT is not just Satnav Steve who lives the good life. Check out the places on Facebook Jon B Given - Walton has been in a single week – not counting the past one! Muriel’s Café/Bar, 2 Taps, The Cloth Ear, Benedict’s, Blue Chicago and for a bit of rough…the Harp Bar! What style. What elegance, what a pretentious plonker!!! I am sure gin tasting in Uluaru was in there too somewhere! While you and I may lurch in to Raffo’s for a pastie supper after a night on the beer , this laddie is hitting the high spots of trendy Belfast! My sainted mother used to say “They would s**** high if their a*** would let them!” WHICH bowlist walks around with an expression which suggests he has a boil on his bum? First correct answer whispered in my ear gets a refreshing alcoholic beverage of choice. PROBABLY wrong of me to say to my opposite number in a recent Club Triples match “See the new bowls have not worked yet!” Mind games eh? A win is a win is a win! And Peter “Ronseal” McGarrity lived up to his new nickname BTW, doing what it says on the tin! Why go abroad when you can bring abroad here? Many of you men will have noticed in places like Italy and Greece that if you try to go to the toilet there is a wizened old crone sitting outside – or sometimes inside – to relieve you of 50 cent after you have relieved yourself! Apparently last Saturday we had our very own toilet attendants, much prettier I am told, sitting outside the gents’ in the vestibule redirecting guys to the only working gents toilet in the rear of the building. Perhaps you should have been sat – as the English love to say – outside the female toilets where at least one guy dived in to avoid having to go the extra yard with a full bladder! FOR the neurotic among you……did you have a good game last week or will you be moved down the batting order or Heaven forbid dropped altogether??? It probably won’t happen………..but it just might! Keep watching the board! Some advice! I was dropped from Midweek A to Midweek B this season. I prefer to think of it as being brought in to bolster up the B team. That’s what I want to think! So if it happens to you, just think the way I do. It will work for you………probably! RUMOUR has it that the Musical Magorrians and Gerry Lowe have decided to form a new tribute group called “ No Direction!” based on their inability to follow the aforesaid direction either on the pitch or on the stage. It is also said that they are working on an abridged version of “The Streets of New York” which if started at Lisburn on the Jolly Boys Outing to Dublin, should be just finished before we hit the hotel….on the south side of the City. RUMOUR also has it that Gerry Lowe is working on yet another new chord. This will be the fifth he has learned in fifty years. Apparently it will not be ready until Opening Day next year as it involves four fingers. WHOSE hair did ex bowler John Tierney think was lovely? THANKS to the girlies for giving the Vets B team a good work out in the recent challenge match. Some of the rougher sorts wanted to swap shirts at the end!! Some of the men did too!! IF anyone has any information on Jim McGetterick, could I have it please. The guy is too nice for his own good! SIMILARLY, any stuff on Jim “The Pipecleaner” Murtagh would be appreciated to enable me to get a head start on his smarmy sidelines remarks this year before the home Midweek B games start – if I am selected of course! YES Dan Cregan, on the subject of attention seeking….we know you played a cracker of a bowl when you were rehearsing on the TV rink but there was no need to strut up the pitch like an Open winner looking at the viewing gallery to see who saw it. It was one out of six full ends for Chrissake! AND talking of Alan De Brun’s trip to Benelmadena which we were last week, he only discovered Belinda was dyslexic when she booked the tickets………..he had wanted to do to Ballymena! And yet again he placed his wheelie bins across the front of his car to stop thieves stealing it while he was away. We should get him to give lectures on how to protect your home to the girlies. They could fit it in to their seminar programme! WHO gave her good friend a 60th birthday card with the price still on the back. You could be forgiven for that but not for the fact that it had been reduced from 99p to 66p….in Asda! WHO came into the Club showing off his new Aran Sweater like a Clancy Brothers groupie? . Pity it was on back to front! Not as cool as you thought you were….eh! WHOSE mobile phone is almost as big as he is? Stick it in yer pocket laddie instead of carrying it around. Who is gonna fone you anyway!!! Til next time Keep stroking the kitty
4 Comments
Not Your Fault
23/5/2016 10:54:40 am
Blogmeister to quote my grandfather the world is ill divid (sic) on one hand your are struggling to down a warm can of beer and no nose beg at Sailsbury and John boy is living the life of a lotto winner! The pink drinks, then the hot tub in the garden and now down in the Cathedral quarter quaffing Bellini's.
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Blogmeister
24/5/2016 11:58:46 am
Dear Not Your Fault........I have only shared half of it...last weeks exploits were not included....plus remember his new car, number plates etc Disclosure needed I think!
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Seán Óg de BHÁLTÚN
24/5/2016 12:13:04 pm
To whom it may concern,
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Blogmeister
24/5/2016 03:08:32 pm
Sean a chara..... The alleged champagne was in fact real champagne from ASDA It cost £9.99 a bottle...so there!
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I keep my ear to the ground to keep everyone informed of the day to day happenings in Falls Bowling Club, Belfast. Archives
December 2017
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