Don’t know if I mentioned this already……….but why is it only the Big Boys and their wee brothers who are allowed to wear whites. What about Vets whom I play for and Midweek? Second class citizens??
I thought it was frowned upon for a girlie to mark a male tie? I have been informed that this shabby practice is still going on……and at high levels too! Shame!!!! I mentioned in last week’s column that I would not be referring to Danny “the Selector” Cregan any more. I lied! I have it on good authority that the whole of the Enterprise train from Dublin plus the Tyrone Senior football team was on its hands and knees looking for his lost phone which was safely nestling in his top pocket. And………while his fellow diners on his Riverdance jaunt necked plates of haute cuisine in a French restaurant washed down with very acceptable clarets before boarding the aforesaid train, the Frugalmeister had ‘champignons sur des toasts’ – mushrooms on toast to you - and I quote “ a glass of plain tap water – none of that fancy expensive sparkling stuff!!” Hope the bread was brown Danny. You are a true gourmande………and a tight one at that!!! Oh yes! He had some steak as well apparently! And talking canny diners…..Mal Mulligan and his bride dine frequently of an afternoon in the STREAT in the Kennedy Centre. Piri Piri Chicken is his dish of choice. He has necked so much that he now has a loyalty card and avails regularly of the free refills of coffee. He points out that the all day breakfast is to be avoided at all costs!!! Good customer alert Mal! Aaaannnd…….the Frugalmeister was miffed that his grandson, something in the theatre as I mentioned before, did not get him a box. He told me that he could not have gotten everyone a box! I am quite sure that if your little group knew there was a spare box going, they would have clubbed together to get one for you to get some relief from the incessant whingeing!! J My beloved gives off to me for constantly lampooning the frugal one saying, “It’s nice to be nice to the nice”. She’ll learn!!! Who pays his TV licence six months after the due date? Alan Brown, that’s who. What a rebel!! Bet he takes his cornflakes without milk too eh??? I know a story about him and his bus pass which I will share at the bar! And apropos of nothing………it is a general rule that skips should be of a higher quality than their front end, that they should encourage them, that they should take pre match advice regarding opponents’ weaknesses and also take advice on what hand to play during a game. Just sayin’………. For information, Jimmy “The Enforcer” not only has resumed his bowling but his collection of savings. Congratulations to Billy T Grayson who shut the door on Butsie in their recent head to head. He hopes it will now get him a run in the B Team. Listen laddie, you would have more chance getting a run in the Girlies’ Holy Bus! And yet another one for the neurotics amongst you…….Do you know that sign that the Greenmeister puts down when he has sprayed fertiliser which says “Wash Your Hands”? You know the stuff is poisonous don’t you so I hope you did indeed wash them and that you didn’t lick your fingers before delivering you bowls. What? You can’t really remember but you think you didn’t wash and you did lick. Oh well, if nothing has happened to you by now you are ok…………. Probably. Just a thought…..if golfists can have caddies, why not bowlists? They could polish the tools of the trade before the game, hand them to you at the oche before you deliver, tell you the best line to take, run up the pitch after you when you needlessly chase the jack up to the head and it sails past into the ditch as I saw one of our skips do in a recent game………….could be a winner! And to the certain arrogant SOB who avowed he would reach the semis of a certain singles competition after he had seen the running order……a Bart Simpson “heh heh!!” to you!!!! Which Michael Gannon BEd will be sewing on his own sequins for Strictly Come Hoofing in the Whitla Hall, Queens University later this year? Word on the street is that Mother Teresa was a better mud wrestler than he is a dancer!!! And talking dancing, which barman is a self confessed line dancing addict?!!? And just to remind you that a certain gardener– remember he used to keep chickens in his back garden but a fox got one and he choked the other - grows an abundance of strawberries which he sells to discerning fruit lovers. But unfortunately, he can’t get rid of his cherries no matter how he tries! Please help Liam Trainor BA (Hons 2:2) out by putting pound coins in the £50 draw pint glass the night he does the collection rather than the loose shrapnel which some undesirables do!! As he has to count it and it is a slow process, it does not please him. I’m only sayin’ that’s all! Which bowler is affectionately referred to by my daughter as “Sunbeds”? Apparently he has more money than God according to one of the girlies! And remember that the ditch is for errant bowls thrown by bowlists who cannot judge distance, not for fag ends!!! Almost time so get your nominations in for the annual “In The Ditch Awards” which will be announced next week. Already I have the following ……Rabbi Jackovitch Collinski, Sixty Six Year Old Joe Rea, Danny McKinney, Alan Brown, Billy T Aiken-Grayson BA (Hons 2:2), Joe “The Skip” Ferguson, Father Eugene. And another one for the neurotic amongst you…………do you know that when the selectors get together, they talk about you………….yes you, nobody else except you and it’s probably not very good……….but don’t let it worry you…………much!!!! And you thought I was finished with Danny Boy….I was sat sitting watching his Midweek A team play when three spectators ran in almost simultaneously to report that he had said, on giving advice to one of his team mates………. “Play whatever hand you like, unless you change your mind!” Priceless Dan! And another quote purported to be from Jimmy “ the Sharpener”….. “The best Midweek B rink is the four reserves!” Keep the chalk wet!
8 Comments
Top Half of the Draw
17/8/2015 02:17:54 am
Bloggy,is it just me?But why do the smokers in the club insist on putting their butts down the drains along the clubhouse....all the subtlety of chewing gum in a urinal."Rant over".
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Top Half of the Draw
17/8/2015 02:37:07 am
Bloggy played the greenmeister on Sunday.He disposed of me handilly 21-9.To add insult to injury he phoned me that evening to advise me that he had a tortured afternoon wondering how I took nine shots of him and Jim McCormack eight.Thanks wee Pete.
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Blogmeister
17/8/2015 02:58:27 pm
Two basis errors in first comment Top Half..........I know who you are!!
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Smokkinnn
19/8/2015 04:44:44 am
Top Half.... We dont insist....its just handier than going to the recepticals provided by the powers that be.....that said, better in the drain than on the ground/pitch me thinks ;-) BTW you were one of us back in the day lol
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Dizzi Rascal
20/8/2015 03:58:21 am
Poor Top Half letting his guard down in such an unfortunate way.
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The General
20/8/2015 05:18:32 am
Dizzi if you are indeed young then logic would suggest that mustn't be a member of FBC then? LOL
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Blogmeister
20/8/2015 01:51:57 pm
Dizzi.....think I spoke to you on the pitch during the girlies rehearsal on Monday or else you served me drink afterwards!!
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Top Half of the Draw
20/8/2015 02:33:25 pm
Smokie ten regal £0.57 not yesterday for me...nothing like a reformed non smoker....have come to hate the things.
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I keep my ear to the ground to keep everyone informed of the day to day happenings in Falls Bowling Club, Belfast. Archives
December 2017
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